What We'd Never Be
by haveiloved
Summary: No one ever said it was easy, but no one ever said it was this hard. In which they are childhood friends. Modern AU


In kindergarten, there were two types of girls. There were girls like Cosette. And then there was Eponine. There were girls who wear dresses. And then there was Eponine. Cosette played with her dolls or played "house" with the kitchen set with a bunch of other girls. Eponine strategically waited until Enjolras had nearly finished building his fort to go knock it down. After the third time on the first day of school, he decided he didn't like the brunette very much.

They were forced to sit beside each other in the morning meeting circle, where they all shared their stories of the day before or the weekend. He'd much rather sit with Grantaire or even Joly if that meant he could get away from her. Marius had gotten lucky, sitting near the prim and proper Cosette. It was so obvious he likes her, and as disgusting as it was to watch him fawn over her, he was happy that Marius wasn't stuck with Eponine like he was.

"Okay class, these are your permanent seats in the morning meeting circle for the rest of the year!" Enjolras cursed in his little kid language. Why did he have to sit by her?

Recess wasn't much better. Eponine had a huge crush on Marius and was distracting him from their game of revolution. "C'mon Marius! You have to help build the barricade!" The freckled boy had paid him no attention. "Marius!"

Eponine gave the boy a smile that showed her dimples. It was a nice smile Enjolras had to admit, but it was keeping his friend from overthrowing the "French". To Enjolras' content Eponine pulled Marius along and asked to play as well.

That would have to do.

Eponine turned out to be great in battle. She had dodged every attack they had thrown her way, and he had to give her credit, she did it all without getting her dress dirty. Marius was okay, he was almost hit about five times because he was looking at Cosette.

What happened next would forever be ingrained in his mind. Combeferre, Grantaire, Joly, Jehan, Courfeyrac, Feuilly, Bahorel, Lesgle, and Marius went to help the fight against the dreaded "French" (who, in reality, were a bunch of boys from preschool Enjolras had come to hate). He didn't see Eponine, nor was it his top concern.

She can look after herself just fine.

Her well being; however, was not in the question. For the blonde curly haired boy did not recognize the dark haired boy approach him with a ball, ready to take down the leader. The ball was already in the air and soaring at Enjolras at a fast speed before he noticed. By the time he saw the flying object, it was already too late. Enjolras had come to meet his fate and he stood tall and proud; the ball never hit him but he heard it hit someone else. His blue eyes try to find the person who was hit (the brave leader closed his eyes at the last second before impact). But who was in front of him on the ground surprised him the most because he didn't expect someone who spent time knocking down his towers to take a hit for him.

It was Eponine.

He was furious at the boy who had thrown it. Montparnasse was his name, and they've hated each other since they met on the playground two blocks from his house, but that was a story for a different time. Now, this treacherous evil boy had hurt one of his teammates, one he didn't like even like, but that was beside the point. Eponine had taken the hit for him, and Montparnasse was going to pay.

He picked up the ball and chucked it at the dark haired boy, praying that it hits him right in the nose. Enjolras gave a satisfactory smirk to Courfeyrac who was watching when the ball hit Montparnasse in the face.

No later does Enjolras bend down to Eponine who had sat up. "Are you okay?" He asked.

He was expecting some babble of how happy she was that he pegged Montparnasse with a ball. Or maybe even a thank you like every other girl, but he should've realized that Eponine wasn't like every other girl.

"You should watch out next time, then you won't have to ask." He wasn't expecting that reply,

"I just got him back for you, a thank you would be nice."

"I just saved you from being hit, if anything you're the one who should be thanking me." She had a point but he refused to let her know she had won so he stayed silent. "You know I'm right, but I'm willing to come to a truce...I think that's what they call it."

"A truce?"

"Yeah, it's like we don't argue-"

"I know what it is. I'm smart."

He noticed Eponine give him an eye roll at that last comment, one which he chose to ignore.

"I feel like it's only fair that you forgive me for kicking down your forts earlier in replacement for saving your life."

She stood up, not bothering to dust herself off. In his eyes, Enjolras didn't see the girl that kicked down his building block forts, he saw the girl who had taken a hit for him. And although her method of coming up with a truce was a little upfront, she was right.

"Deal."

She spit in her hand and held it out. Enjolras was somewhat disgusted with this idea at first, he wasn't a germ freak like Joly, but surely this was unsanitary.

"C'mon, stop being a baby, just spit in your hand and shake."

He did as he was told.

Enjolras and Eponine both had a cold the following week.

In sixth grade, everything changed. Eponine and Enjolras had grown close since the first day of kindergarten but the first day of sixth grade she didn't look like she usually no longer carried a love for a boy, for she no longer fawned over Marius.

Her smile has lost it's affection, it was hollow. Her dimples didn't show much, they only showed when she was truly happy. Her eyes were no longer that rich chocolate brown they once were, instead, they're just brown, dull and lifeless. Enjolras tried to walk her home like usual, but she screamed "no" for all the middle schoolers to hear. She changed for the worst but he shrugged it off thinking it had to do with the things he learned about in sex ed.

He will never forget the day that he tried to give her a high five, she flinched when his hand went up.

Enjolras never put it together until eighth grade.

Their last year in middle school, he had figured out why she's been so distant and cold. Eponine had made the mistake of raising her hand in class with him right beside her. He didn't miss the black, blue, and purple bruises aligning her arm.

"Ep, what's going on? Why are you bruised?" He remembered asking one day after school.

She looked into his eyes and he knew she was going to make some outrageous lie that he would have believed two years ago. "I fell down my stairs the other day, they haven't gone away yet." Eponine gave him a laugh, but it didn't conceal the lie she had told him.

"I'm not dumb. I know what domestic abuse looks like."

The glare that she gave him that day is the scariest thing he had ever seen. Her eyes looked like fire, no longer that dull brown they had been. "Then why'd you ask me Enjolras?"

She wanted to scare him. She wanted him to let it go. She wanted nothing more to be left alone. But she was his best friend and he'd be damned if he let her go through this alone.

"I thought you actually trusted me enough to tell me the truth, I thought wrong."

Her eyes fell. A different kind of sadness took over them. Not the kind that broke her heart when Marius would talk about Cosette. Oh no, it was far worse. It was the soul shattering truth that brought the darkest kind of sadness out of her. It wasn't pure sorrow. It was fear and hatred for herself. It was the world without hope, the problem without a solution.

She did nothing but stare at the ground. He guessed she was trying to stop the tears.

Enjolras heard chatter from girls and guys both.

"...she's just so weird," one girl had said.

"What's her issue?" Another girl asked.

Eponine heard and ran. She left her backpack and the lunch box that hasn't been used since fifth grade.

Dammit. He grabbed his bags along with hers and took off. He found her in an alley with her back pressed up against a brick wall. Her head was in between her knees and her breathing was shallow.

He didn't know if it was from running or crying.

He stood there, he's never been much of an emotional person but seeing Eponine crying like that broke his heart yet lit it on fire. It was such an odd sensation, he wanted to punch someone and hug her at the same time. He figured he couldn't punch anyone or anything without scaring her, Lord knew that was what her father did, so he just sat the bags down and took a seat beside her.

"What're you doing here?" She looked at him and confirmed his worst suspicion. She was crying.

He had no clue how to deal with tears.

"I'm being your best friend."

"I don't need you here."

"You need someone."

"I'll make that decision." The brunette had put her head back into her knees

"Eponine, stop declining my help, I'm here, this is what friends do for each other."

"I don't have friends Enjolras."

"You have me." Her head had snapped up so fast he thought it was whiplash. Tears came out of her eyes faster than he thought was possible. Eponine had put a hand over her mouth to choke out the sobs she was holding back all the while turning away from him so he wouldn't see.

He didn't know what impelled him to do what he did next, maybe it was the same instinct he had in kindergarten when she was hit with that dodgeball. But he hugged her. He brought her into his chest and managed to sit her on his lap. She wasn't heavy, she never has been, but she was small, almost too small.

Eponine's sobs weren't held back anymore. When he brought her into that embrace, it broke down every wall she had tried to put up, and let out every sob she was holding in. He doesn't know how long they sat there, Enjolras felt like it would have been rude to check. It had been so long since she's actually let him in, that thought alone brings tears to his eyes.

"...ank..o," was all he heard as Eponine mumbled into his chest.

"What?"

She lifted her head from his chest and looked him in the eyes. Her face was flushed, eyes were swollen, and she had bruises everywhere, but she was still the girl who took that dodgeball for him.

"Thank you. Thank you for being my best friend." She kissed his cheek and got up. When she left, he gingerly touched the place where her warm lips once were.

Freshmen year was the year he'd never forget.

The year Eponine got a boyfriend. And Enjolras hated him with every fiber in his being. He'd much rather her fawn over Marius like she did when they were children then date the douchebag she's dating now.

Montparnasse.

"Don't you remember Eponine? He was the boy with the dodgeball!" He said a day after he found out.

"You're the only one who keeps up with those types of childish things Enjolras. He wasn't aiming at me, he was aiming at you. It was a game of French Revolution and you were the leader, it'd be logical for him to get you out." She shrugged his comment off.

"Calm down Enjy, the girl knows what she's doing. Why don't you look after someone who actually wants your attention?" Grantaire asked.

"Lay off, Eponine has never been the fragile little girl. I've never seen this girl cry." Courfeyrac smiled and nudged the said girl with his elbow.

If only they knew what I know.

"Besides, if he makes her happy, then we should support her," Combeferre winked playfully at Eponine who tossed a carrot at his face in retaliation.

That conversation still didn't change the fact that Enjolras hated him. He would have been happy if Eponine had dated anyone but him. She could date that good-for-nothing pervert in his math class because he could get a football scholarship and become a professional athlete. But she was dating that bastard and there was nothing he could do about it except sit around and act like he approves.

Sophomore year was different. Enjolras was elected as the Student Body President and Eponine had begun to spend less time with him. He heard rumors that they had already had sex from some wannabe whore in his Biology class. He never wanted to know the innocent little girl he had grown up with had become this. He'd see her in the hall with her boyfriend between classes and it made him want to puke, the thought of her lips on Montparnasse's leaves a nasty taste in his mouth.

"It's called jealousy Enjy," Courfeyrac teased. "You're jealous that she doesn't hang out with you anymore. Or maybe it's because you want to be in Montparnasse's position." The kitten loving boy wiggled his eyebrows.

"I am agog! I am aghast! Is Enjy in love at last?"

"No, 'Enjy' isn't! He has better things to do than worry about such a petulant thing!" Enjolras said defensively.

"Oh, so if Enjy isn't in love, then Enjolras must be in love eh?" Grantaire suggested.

"No, I am not in love! Eponine is merely a friend of mine, we've all known her since kindergarten. I'm just looking out for her best interests."

Grantaire opened his mouth to rebuttal but stopped when he saw the brunette standing behind Enjolras. She tapped his shoulder and the blonde boy turned.

"Hey, do you wanna hang out after school? I'm not doing anything, if that's completely okay with you, I mean I understand if you are hanging out with these guys but-"

"It's fine. I'll pick you up after school and then we can decide what we'll do from there yeah?"She smiled and had made a move to hug him but refrained from it, a movement everyone had noticed but the marble statue.

"You wanna sit with us Ep?" Combeferre asked.

"Not today, but I'll sit with you tomorrow. Save me a seat?"

"You gotcha!" He winked like he did the year before.

She had given them all a crooked smile before leaving to sit with her boyfriend.

Their junior year was eventful. Eponine had finally broken up with Montparnasse but gave no details.

He and Eponine had started hanging out even more lately. They'd gone to see every movie, and when the movie selection was boring, they'd drive around with absolutely no destination. He learned that it wouldn't matter where, he could always talk to Eponine about something, there was never an awkward pause. Enjolras came to realize that he felt somewhat empty when she wasn't there. He never expressed the feeling verbally, but Jehan had already said that he was falling in love.

"Hey 'Ponine do you need a ride to Courf's party?"

"Yeah Enjy thanks!" He could practically hear the smirk in her voice.

"I might not pick you up after that comment."

"You know you will. You love me too much."

He remembered his stomach flipping at that moment. Confusion had swept over him like a tidal wave. He's aware that he holds back most of his feelings but how do hold back a feeling you've never felt?

"I'll be there in a sec." He hung up without getting a response from her. He couldn't drive in silence, that meant he'd be alone in his thoughts, something he'd rather avoid. Enjolras had turned on the radio, hoping it would provide some sort of haven. He had no such luck because every song that was played was a love song. After the fifth tune played, he turned the radio off, thinking the other option of silence was a lot better.

The marble man barely noticed the car was moving, barely noticed the fact that he arrived at her house. His thoughts were consumed by the idea of them. The thought of him kissing her lips, and his hand enveloping hers sent chills up his spine. He barely noticed her getting in the car.

"Hey." She gave him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. His heart beated a million times a minute it felt like, and when her dimples showed it took all the self restraint not to kiss her.

"I'm sorry, do I have something in my teeth? Lipstick? Oh I bet it was that sandwich-"

"No, you're fine, I just, I just zoned out, that's all."

She nodded and moved to turn on the radio and he almost stopped her. But she started singing and it was probably the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

The drive to Courfeyrac's place was the hardest thing he had ever done. Enjolras wanted nothing more than to pull over and kiss her. To let her know that he's always loved her, her dimples and scars together. He wanted nothing more than to be the reason for her smile and laughter, he wanted to be more than the best friend. But Eponine had told him a month after she broke up with Montparnasse that she wanted to be single and independent. Her relationship with Montparnasse had been what she called "toxic" and she wanted to take time to find herself before she dated again. He secretly hated the idea at the time. How on Earth could he get her if she refused to be loved?

"So how has your day been?" There she goes. She had pegged him with her beautiful brown eyes, the same ones that had been empty and lifeless before.

"Good. It's been good. And you?"

She gave him that dimpled smile that sent his heart racing. Eponine went on to tell him of this little girl who wanted a cookie but her mother told her she couldn't have it. "...so her brother pulled out some money and bought it for her."

He laughed when it was necessary. Enjolras didn't want to seem like he didn't care but her beauty had him hypnotized and it was hard for him to focus.

When they arrived, he finally took notice of her outfit. It was no doubt the nicest thing she owned. A simple red dress that met halfway down her tan olive thighs with a leather jacket wrapped around her shoulders.

He knew there was a reason he liked red.

Courfeyrac's house was full of all the Amis, a club that discussed political issues, or at least tried to, Enjolras was the only one who really cared.

Grantaire had taken notice of the two friends walking in together. His eyes had lit up and he immediately went to great the pair. "Ep, you look fantastic I can't seem to say the same for your boyfriend." Enjolras thought he saw a glimpse of pain in his friend's eyes but it disappeared as soon as it came.

"We're not dating Grantaire, she just needed a ride."

Oh but how he wished they were.

"Whatever you say Apollo."

Their senior year was the roughest they've ever had. Eponine had confessed to him about Marius and how she never got over him. She told him Montparnasse was only a distraction.

There's a hole in the wall from where he punched it in his fury.

Now all he had was a hole in the wall, bloody knuckles, and a numb heart. Enjolras could fix his knuckles with some Neosporin and Band-Aids, and he could fix his wall with some things from the hardware store, but that was not his problem. His problem was trying to fix the constant ache in his chest.

The ache that could only be solved with someone he couldn't have.

He tried to avoid her it didn't work though, as much as he hated to admit it, he'd always enjoy her company and couldn't rid himself of her. It came with a price because all she would talk about was how she's better than Cosette and how much it sucks for Marius not to realize that.

She didn't realize that was the exact same thing she was doing to him.

"I just wish he'd realize that I'm right here. I have been this whole time. He's just so oblivious."

He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't listen to her ramble about her love for the dumb ass freckled boy. What made him so special? Marius already had Cosette couldn't she see that? That boy had a girl he loved and here Enjolras was, loving his best friend, someone who would never love him back.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go, I'll see you later Ep."

Enjolras was the valedictorian of his senior class and he spent the rest of his weeks in school doing nothing but writing the speech. What would he say? Would he talk about following your dreams? Would he reflect on the things he learned not only academic wise but life lessons too? Would he emphasize the importance of getting someone to help you along the way? Or would he tell everyone that regardless if things don't seem to be going your way, to keep your head up and keep pushing forward?

He had the most experience with the last topic considering that's what he's been doing since freshmen year.

Enjolras spent all his spare time on that damn speech, it didn't take long either because his muse occupied his thoughts at all times.

Eponine.

She had tried texting him but gave up when she realized he was working on perfecting that speech. He had written about five drafts, all of which had been edited by his favorite English teacher in his school.

By the day of graduation, he had perfected it as much as he could. When it was time for him to give his speech, he felt every ounce of confidence leave him. What if he messed it up?

But he saw her looking at him with that dimpled smile and two thumbs up and he started to feel any ounce of nervousness and insecurity flee his mind.

"Classmates.." And there he goes. She looked at her best friend with complete admiration. It had surprised no one when Enjolras was announced as the valedictorian, he excelled in everything.

He had spent so much time on this speech, and it showed. His words flowed eloquently from his paper to his mouth. She laughed, remembering the man standing on the stage had worn a bucket on his head as a helmet when they played Revolution in first grade.

"I'm smarter now," he said, "every leader needs to have protection."

Now the blonde stands on stage giving the most beautiful and moving speech she has ever heard.

"When the tough gets going you have to push on. Things won't always stay in your favor, and you can't expect them to. Life is tough and you can't change yourself because of it. You adapt. You learn how to be yourself and survive this hellhole. But if you have learned anything from high school it is that people can be cruel, people can break your heart, they are untrustworthy and rude, but that's a part of being human. I hope you learned that although the people in your life have being doubting you there have been people who never stopped believing in you, regardless of the hardships. I will leave you with this one thought from Winston Churchill, 'We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls.' Thank you."

His eyes never left hers at any moment during his speech. His motivation was her.

The summer they left for college was the memory he'd love to forget and love to remember.

July 31st was the day before Enjolras left for Harvard and Éponine to Juilliard. He had decided to spend it with his best friend and the only girl who had caught his eye.

They'd taken his boat out onto the open Georgian sound. He docked them at a sandy part of the sound where relatively no one was.

"This is so cool! Why haven't we done this before?"

Enjolras pulled out a blanket and a basket. He had spread the blanket down before putting the basket on top of it along with himself.

"There wasn't any time."

"Is there food in that basket?" She asked.

He closed his eyes and leaned back onto the sheet. "No. A box full of kittens."

"This is so cool! A picnic on the beach, but it's not the beach!" He opened one eye and looked at her strangely. "Don't judge!"

He gave her a soft laugh before sitting up once again. "You want to eat now or later?"

"Now!" He smiled at her blunt reply.

The way she dug into the strawberries was everything but ladylike, but that's Eponine. She'd dive in a pile of mud without a second thought if it looked fun.

There was a little stream of red from the strawberry juices that dribbled down her chin. It distracted the blonde to no end. And the worst part was the fact she didn't even seem to notice. He grabbed a napkin and tried to hand it to her. She didn't seem to see his efforts in cleaning her up and if she had, she made no effort to show it. Enjolras leaned forward and wiped the red line off her chin. She looked startled and jerked her head in a way that ended up with their lips only inches apart. His heart was racing a thousand beats per minute as their breaths mingled. She cleared her throat and he backed away instantly.

"Sorry, you just had some, uh, stuff on your face."

"Thanks..."

The atmosphere had gotten too awkward for him. It had never been like this before. They usually spent their time talking and never running out of things to say. Today was different.

"Are you excited for Juilliard?" Her eyes lit up at the question.

"God I'm so excited! I can't wait for it! I'm taking a few chorus and singing classes along with some dance classes on the side as well!" She rambled on about the school and the people she was destined to meet. She told him how happy she was the Courfeyrac was going to NYU so she'd have someone to talk to. He couldn't help the uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach at the thought of Courf being close to her. He was a flirt, he could take Eponine if he wanted to. "Are you excited for Harvard?" She asked.

"I am, although I'm upset that Combeferre is going to Yale instead. Where are Marius and Cosette going?"

"Cosette is going to the Savannah College of Art and Design. Marius is going to the Atlanta Technical College."

"Only a few hours away. How fortunate for them." He takes another bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah. It's disgusting. I mean I know they want to get married and what not, but shouldn't they try to figure themselves out first? They've known each other since kindergarten."

"Well they're lonely. Who cares?"

"It's so irritating. Not to mention nasty." She stood and pulled off her shirt, revealing her bikini top. Eponine had definitely grown since freshmen year. She had a tan now and her scars were barely visible. Her hair was no longer shoulder length, it tumbled in dark waves to her stomach. The teeth that were slightly crooked had fixed themselves.

He diverted his gaze to his half eaten sandwich before she caught him staring.

"Well, am I going to swim alone?" Enjolras looked up and saw her smiling with her hands on her hips. "I may get eaten by a shark swimming alone!"

He rolled his eyes and waited for her to walk away to take his shirt off. The idea wouldn't have bothered him in eighth grade, but when he started developing feelings for her, Enjolras had found himself being a little more bashful than normal.

Eponine noticed him wading into the water and smiled. He almost fell over at the sight and she laughed thinking he tripped.

Thank God for that assumption.

"Clumsy much?"

"Shut up Ep." She gave him another smile. If there was one thing that had never changed about Eponine, it was the dimples that left little crevasses in her cheeks when she smiled. Enjolras was confused on why Marius would overlook his best friend for Cosette, the blonde girl who was spoiled to no end.

Eponine smirked at him and kicked water at him soaking whatever part of his body that was still dry. At the sight of his blonde curls sticking to his face, she laughed. He only sent her a glare in return.

"Oh c'mon Enjy, live a little!" When she turned her back to him, he silently and quickly raced toward her. "Oh and by the way-" She get to finish her sentence before Enjolras threw her over his shoulder and walked into deeper water. "Put me down!"

"Oh c'mon Ep, live a little!" She smacked his back over and over again.

"Don't use my own words against me!" Enjolras only smirked before he decided that he's far enough out to drop her. "Enjy this isn't fair-"

Her protests were cut off by the sound of her falling into the water. Eponine resurfaced with a look that, Enjolras thought, resembled a drowned cat. "You look a little wet Ep." He smirked when she angrily smacked the water.

"Go to hell." She stood up, letting the water come to her hips. The blonde boy only smirked and walked over to her. Eponine's head only came up his shoulder which had made her smile, in kindergarten they were the same size. "Will you miss me?" She asked.

The question took him by surprise. He had not exactly expected her to ask such a thing. He thought his feelings for her were obvious and even if she couldn't see the romantic aspect of it, she should at least see the strong friendship they had.

"Of course I will Ponine, we're kinda best friends.'

"Don't forget about me?" Her brown eyes had peered into his.

"I don't think I can."

It wasn't until he spoke, did he realize how close they were. He could kiss her if he moved just two inches. Their breaths were mingling in the small space. He saw her gaze flicker from his lips to his eyes which he thought was what propelled him to do what he did next.

He wound his arms around her tiny little waist and he pressed his lips to hers. Fireworks went off in his head and in the pit of his stomach. Enjolras felt a sinking sensation when she didn't kiss him back until he felt her lips move with his and her hands play with the curls at the nape of his neck. His heart pounded and his legs felt weak but he wouldn't trade them for anything. He hardly noticed the cliche rain pouring down around them. She pulled away too soon, as if she realized kissing him was a mistake, and maybe it was, that was his first. But the look in her eyes broke his heart. They were full of regret.

"I'm sorry." She ran back to the umbrella and started drying off.

"Eponine!" He caught her wrist while she wrung out her hair. "What did I do?"

"I can't okay? Just leave me alone." She tried to yank it out of his hand but he persisted, for he was just that stubborn.

"Please tell me!"

"Just take me home."

He dropped her wrist and grabbed everything else she had left behind before putting it on the boat. She sat as far away from him as she could when she got on the boat. It broke his heart to see her trying to avoid him.

He thought it'd get better when they got in the car. Just like the boat ride, it was full of silence and broken hearts.

"Eponine, please tell me what's going on."

"I shouldn't have kissed you." And he's not sure if it's how nonchalant she sounded or how fast she answered the question that broke his heart.

"Was I that bad?" He parked the car outside her house and awaited her answer.

"No it wasn't that, Enj."

"Then what was it?"

"I-I-"

"Spit it out."

"I don't love you."

And in that moment he wished he never asked.

"I'm sorry. But I just don't. I have to go, my brother and sister are probably wondering where I am."

She left the following morning, it was a three hour drive to the Atlanta airport. He drove there seeing as he had a plane to catch as well.

"Flight 20B to New York is now boarding." An auto tuned voice spoke the very words he loathed to hear.

He heard her happy voice saying her goodbyes along with Courfeyrac's. He turned to look and caught her eye right before she left for the terminal. She stared and walked away with no hesitation. Courf gave him a hug before following the brunette.

She just left. No hug. No goodbye.

As if that hole in his heart wasn't already taking over his life.

Things had changed since kindergarten, he learned. She wasn't afraid of getting hit with a dodgeball. But she was afraid of falling in love.

He, along with his other friends he assumed, was invited to Marius and Cosette's wedding. It was only two weeks after graduation, which was kinda dumb in his opinion. But all he could think about was Eponine. His heart still hadn't healed from the day before they had to leave for college.

The wedding was placed in Savannah, Georgia, where they all grew up. It had made it easier since all of the Amis, who Enjolras was assuming were the groomsmen, were already home.

The rehearsal dinner was tonight. They were all expected to be at the largest local church in Savannah by six tonight. They had to dress casually formal, an oxymoron in Enjolras' eyes but that's what the invitation said.

He drove there with an Imagine Dragons song playing, he couldn't remember the title of it, only the familiarity. He pulled up into the parking lot of one of the largest churches he had ever seen. The steeple was a practical tower with two stories underneath it. Definitely something Cosette would want.

All he could picture was Cosette arranging everything with no consideration for her fiance's opinion. He didn't care about Marius' feelings, but he worried that he'd have to play lawyer in their divorce case very soon.

Courfeyrac and Grantaire exited the former's car. What startled him the most was what they were wearing. R was dressed in a beer bottle costume and Courf was in a cat costume. They looked ridiculous and Cosette would probably have a heart attack. Maybe that was the goal? None of the Amis really cared about Marius' relationship with her, and he doesn't think any of them really liked her in particularly. She always seemed too snooty.

Nonetheless, Enjolras walked in fully expecting R and Courf the only ones dressed awkwardly but he was wrong.

Joly was dressed as a bar of soap, Combeferre was dressed as a book, and Jehan was a heart. Feuilly, Lesgle, and Bahorel had yet to show up.

Cosette's face was priceless, she was obviously mad but too stunned to say anything. Her bimbo friends just patted her back reassuringly. His friends would no doubt get an earful from her tonight, something he was glad he didn't have to experience since he wasn't a part of it.

"Hey Enjy! Come here! We have something for you!" R shouted over the noise. He held up an Apollo outfit and motioned him over. Enjolras wouldn't have moved if he didn't see Cosette approaching him.

"What are you all doing? You'll get us killed before the wedding rehearsal even starts!" He all but yells.

"Oh c'mon Enjy, live a little!" R replied while secretly noticing the way Enjolras flinched at the choice of words.

"No. This is dumb."

"But you have to admit the reaction we got from Cosette is priceless." Courfeyrac chimed in slapping the golden haired boy's back.

Feuilly, Bahorel, and Lesgle all arrived five minutes later. Feuilly was a fan, and Lesgle was a four leafed clover. Bahorel was dressed in his pajamas which also managed to piss Cosette off.

"Okay everyone! Let's start before this becomes more outrageous!" She squeaked in that high pitched voice.

It always gave him a headache.

She stood up behind the podium with Marius beside her. She went over the rules and the itinerary for the night. "...and we'll practice for about two hours, then we'll go eat, and after that we'll practice for another hour."

"Where are we going to eat? McDonalds?" He heard Grantaire shout.

"We don't have time for that!"

"We aren't slaves!"

Shouts were echoing across the room. But he only focused on the rain that had recently started. The last time it rained when he was in Savannah he...couldn't afford to think about that right now. He may just see her tonight and any feelings he had toward her in the past were to be destroyed because she made her feelings known.

She didn't love him.

"Everyone be quiet! Cosette has written the schedule this way and you hooligans will have to deal with it!" Some brunette with the sluttiest clothing on glared at all the Amis.

She was more likely the maid of honor.

"If we wanted to know a skank's opinion we would have asked you, but we didn't so shut up and sit down!" Courfeyrac snapped.

Marius glared at his former roommate while his blonde bimbo fiance comforted her slutty friend.

Enjolras thought this whole thing was dumb. Did they really expect Marius' friends to get along with Cosette's? If Eponine was there, they'd both laugh at the absurd idea. But she wasn't. She had been in New York avoiding his texts and phone calls for the past four years and probably kissing some other boy.

He stopped.

Thinking like that would only make it worse.

"So lets start from the beginning, everyone lets go to the doors-"

Cosette was cut off by a soaking wet, high heeled wearing, red shorts and a t-shirt clad brunette all but gracefully bursting through the doors. The girl had whipped her hair out of her face and smiled apologetically at the bunch.

"Sorry everybody! My car broke down and I had to walk in the rain."

It was Eponine.

And even though she had mascara marks all down her cheeks, she never looked more beautiful to him.

"Yeah well trying being early for once Eponine." Cosette stuck her nose up in air while striking the wrong chord with Enjolras.

"You don't get to talk to her like that." Eponine turned to him, like she didn't know he was standing there.

"It's my wedding and I invited her. She should be on time and she wasn't."

"Not like you were going over anything important."

Cosette looked stunned, but his attention wasn't on her, it was on the brunette still dripping water.

Eponine had changed in the four years just like everyone else. Her hair had grown even longer, and her cheekbones were prominent in a healthy way. Before, her cheeks were sunken in, a sign of struggle. Her skin was pure, no bruise or scar was visible. Her smile was white and her clothes were in better shape. She was even more beautiful than last time, and every male in the room had noticed. Courfeyrac was the only one who wasn't staring out of surprise, he was smirking at the amount of jaws that dropped.

She cautiously walked over the Enjolras as they all watched her. "Please stop making them stare at me Enjy."

"Hey boys, close your mouths, you might catch flies."

They practiced together. It was probably the most boring and petulant thing the best friends had experienced. But the sight of seeing a beer bottle escort a prim and proper friend of Cosette's was all the entertainment they needed. When it was time to eat, Marius announced that they'd be meeting at the Olive Garden downtown.

"Ep?" She turned and looked him, about to walk out the door. "Do you need a ride?"

Eponine gave him a shy smile. "I'd hate to soak your seats Enjolras."

"You're fine. C'mon, lets go." He walked outside and pulled out an umbrella, but she stopped him from opening it up.

"A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now Enjy, your car is right there." She walked into the rain spinning around with her arms out wide, grinning when she saw him staring. "Are you coming or not?"

He laughed at her and ran to the car. She slides into the passenger's seat with a smile on her face accompanied by the raindrops.

"Here, take this." Enjolras handed her a green towel.

She took it and laughed. "Why do you have a towel in here?"

"I was meaning to go to the beach while I was down here. I never got around to it and ended up leaving a towel and a pair of swimming trunks in the back just in case I changed my mind."

"You're so weird Enjy." She dried her hair out while he pulled away from the church. "Are we going home after this?"

"No. Cosette insisted that we go back and practice once more before the bachelor and bachelorette parties."

Eponine groaned and threw her head back against the headrest. "Can I not go the bachelorette party? They all hate me. Peasants."

Enjolras choked on his laughter. "What did you call them?"

"Peasants. This guy in New York taught me."

"What's his name? Where does he work? What're his goals in life?"

"Calm down. He's a student at NYU and he plans on writing for the New York Times one day." That didn't comfort him anymore than she thought it would. It set his nerves on edge, she spent her time with a boy that wasn't him. He only wanted to know one thing.

Did they date?

The drive wasn't long after that. She sang along to Demons by Imagine Dragons and he only smiled at the sound of her voice.

Four years were way too long.

They entered Olive Garden together and held back laughs when they saw the Les Amis still dressed in their costumes. The looks their friends got from everyone made them smile especially when they saw Team Bimbo and Marius look embarrassed.

"Five bucks Cosette's gonna fuss them out with a smile on her face," she whispered.

"You always win these bets, why would I want to go up against you?"

"Who said you had to, but if I'm right, you still owe me five dollars."

They both sat down in between Jehan and Joly. And when Cosette politely scolded them with a smile on her face Enjolras handed Eponine a five dollar bill.

The whole dinner consisted of Courfeyrac telling stories of New Yorkers and Jehan reciting sonnets from Shakespeare. Joly would put on three different layers of hand sanitizer and pull out wipes for the utensils and Combeferre would tell Eponine of his latest philosophical thoughts and discoveries. Enjolras smiled at it all, the Les Amis had been reunited after four years of separation. Too bad it was under these circumstances.

Within another hour, they're back at the church rehearsing half asleep. Eponine rested her head on Enjolras' shoulder when she had time to sit down. They were both tired along with everyone else with the exception of Cosette and her friends. When Grantaire had finally collapsed in the middle of the aisle Enjolras stood up, as he forgot about Eponine on his shoulder.

"We're going home. Good night." He helps his usually drunk friend up before turning back to Eponine who was asleep on the pew. Quickly, he picked her up and walked to his car.

"Enjy?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are we?"

"We are going to my car, I'll be taking you home." He sat her in the passenger seat and moved around to his side of the car.

She buckled herself in and watched him. "Is there anything you need Eponine?"

She stared just a little longer before she finally spoke. "Do you remember that day at the sound? The day before we left?"

He froze. Every muscle in his body tensed. He tried to forget that day and her presence didn't make it any better. Now that she was asking about it, there was no way he could avoid it. "How could I forget."

"Listen I'm sorry I-"

"Save it. You said it. Just drop it." He put the key in ignition and pulled away from the steeple. They managed to get five miles away from the church before she brought it up again.

"We have to talk about it."

"Nothing to talk about. You made your thoughts on the matter very blatant that day."

"I didn't mean it-"

"It doesn't matter. You said it."

"But-"

"Just drop it Eponine." He glared at her and she glared right back.

"Pull over," she ordered.

"What?"

"I didn't stutter." He did as he was told. The rain was coming back again. Soft and steady but it was picking up pace. She unbuckled and unlocked her door before she stepped out and shut the door, leaving him alone in the car. It wasn't until he saw her walking away did he understand what she was doing.

"Eponine!" He yelled at her once he opened his door. "Eponine come back here! It's dark!" He ran to catch up with her.

"If you haven't noticed Enjolras, I've never been afraid of the dark!" He caught up with her and drug her back to his car. She refused to get in, instead, she stood in front of his car with the headlights illuminating her features.

"I just wanted to talk about it," she said. Eponine sounded defeated.

"What's there to talk about? You kissed me back and told me you regretted it Eponine. You said you didn't love me." The rain pounded harder hiding the tears that were threatening to come out of both of their eyes. "I spent all of college trying to figure out if you hated me. Or if you were dating Courfeyrac or some guy you might have met at Juilliard. I would compare myself to that lonely souled freckled face freak you fawned over for years wondering why he was always catching your eye instead of me. And when you kissed me back I felt like I was soaring but you told me you regretted it and you didn't love me. That hurt worse than anything anyone could've told me Eponine. And you didn't even tell me goodbye."

She was bawling now pulling at her hair and letting out frustrated groans, pacing back and forth. "God Enjolras you don't think I don't know that? When you kissed me it was the best feeling of my life, but I had to leave the next day. I'd be in New York City and you'd be in Cambridge. It wouldn't have worked. I had to lie to you because it'd be easier than telling you my feelings and then leaving. I couldn't do that to you. Enj, you scared me. Here was a perfect man kissing a girl who had so many issues that outnumbered the stars in the sky. It scared me. I hated thinking that I may fall in love with you because love isn't supposed to work out for people like me. I thought that by cutting off ties with you, I could forget about any feelings I had for you. It got worse." She gave a weak laugh, it was supposed to cover the shake in her voice and distract him from the tears on her face. "I missed you like crazy and seeing you here made me go insane. So I'm sorry for doing what I did to you. It was selfish and stupid and ignorant and repulsive and-"

He kissed her right then with tears streaming down her face and rain matting her hair and sticking her clothes to her skin. She kissed back with a passion only Eponine was capable of. Fireworks went off in his head, heart, and gut, and it sent chills down his spine. His hands went from her cheeks to her tiny little waist while her hands found home in the nape of his neck. They broke apart when they needed air. He touched his forehead to hers and she let out a sob.

"I'm so sorry Enjolras." He kissed her again letting his lips linger a little longer than necessary.

"I forgive you Ep."

"I love you Enjolras. I've loved you since I kicked your block forts down."

"I've loved you since you took that dodgeball for me."

She kissed him again. "We're going to catch a cold Enjy."

"Good. It'd be a repeat from when we were children."

Two years later the crew decided to visit Enjolras and his new girlfriend in New York.

No one will ever know how happy it made him to call Eponine his.

All the Amis plus Marius and Cosette decided to stay in a hotel just three blocks away for his house. It was quite the arrangement until Marus complained about the distance.

"But Enjy we're too far away!"

"Don't call me that."

"Eponine calls you that!"

"She is also my girlfriend."

"Please?"

"No."

"You have a guest room! I'll ask Eponine if you say no."

"Fine."

"Thanks Enjolras." Marius hung up seconds after.

"Hey Ep?"

"Yeah?"

"Cosette and Marius are staying with us for the rest of the week."

He didn't hear a response, just loud footsteps coming into the living room. "What? Why?"

"Too far a walk," he shrugged.

"Lazy assed hoes." She walked into his embrace and relished his smell. Her phone beeped and she read it as soon as it showed up on her screen. "Cosette is outside, she wants help getting her stuff. Marius is apparently doing something and is too preoccupied to help her.

"You don't have to go."

"I know. But she won't leave until I do. I'll be back." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and reluctantly let her go. She ran off with her phone in her hand and a coat after he made her grab one.

He didn't hear back from her for another two hours which was odd since the girls had only come by that time, Enjolras had cleaned both bathrooms, folded his laundry and washed Eponine's. He washed the dishes and vacuumed every part of his apartment. He dusted every inch and swept every tile. Joly would be proud. He almost called her but Courfeyrac called him first.

"How is she?"

"I beg your pardon Courf."

"I heard what happened. How is Eponine?"

His heart rate picked up and his nerves were sent on edge. "What happened to her?"

"She got in an accident Enj. Her and Cosette. They're at Lenox Hill Hospital on 77th street." Enjolras grabbed his keys and a jacket before locking the door and racing out of his house. He didn't bother to get in his car, he sprinted to 77th in pure rage and pure fear.

She's gonna be alright. Calm down, it'll be okay.

He entered the hospital out of breath probably looking a mess. The Amis all stood up and looked at the frazzled man.

"How is she?" His friends stayed silent. "She's okay right?" He felt tears pricking in his eyes. "Please someone tell me."

"It's better if you find out yourself," the doctor said. Enjolras looked at him with pleading eyes. "I'm guessing you're her boyfriend?" He nodded. "Right this way son."

"What happened?"

"She was riding in the car with a girl and the girl wasn't paying attention. She ran a red light and got them hit on both sides."

Enjolras almost stopped breathing.

"She's in this room right here." The doctor opened the door to reveal a bruised Eponine laying on the bed. "I'll leave you to it."

He immediately ran to her bedside and cautiously grabbed her hand. "Eponine, please tell me you're okay." Tears leaked from his eyes like a waterfall. These past two years had been perfect and they could possibly come to an end because of Cosette.

He couldn't imagine life without her. It just seemed unfair to them. He's been chasing her since freshmen year but never realized until he was a junior. And now, after two years of dating, she's on the bed unconscious and he doesn't know what condition she's in.

She opened her eyes and looked around before settling on him. She gave him a weak smile and wiped away his tears with her hand. "Hey." Her voice was raw and scratchy. He assumed it was from screaming and the lack of use.

"Do you need some water?"

She nodded and thanked him when he handed her cup. Éponine drank it swiftly. "Where is everyone?"

"In the waiting room. They're all pretty worried."

She nodded and stared out the window, as if she's trying to avoid eye contact. "Did they tell you what happened to me?"

"Yeah, you got in an accident." Tears started to well up in her eyes. She shook her head slowly but surely.

"No. Did they tell you what is going to happen to me?"

He shook his head.

"Enjolras, I'm paralyzed from the waist down. I won't be able to walk again."

He felt his world crash around him as she cried. His girlfriend wouldn't walk again because of Cosette's reckless driving. He cried because seeing her in that state killed him. She'd hate it, he's sure, because she's so independent. Having to depend on someone else because of a physical disability would kill her.

"I'm never going to walk down the aisle, or get out of bed on my own. I can't bathe myself without help, or go on morning runs with you in Central Park. I have to stay home and just practice piano for upcoming recitals." She was trying to yell but her raw voice kept her from doing so. She was crying so hard, as was he. Enjolras held her hand tightly like it was a lifeline for him. "I can't walk with my children, or dance with you at weddings. I'm useless what can I do now?"

"You can marry me." She looked at him in confusion.

"What?"

"You can marry me. I don't have a ring right this second, I was planning on proposing later this week. But I want you to know that you are perfect and I won't leave you. I'll carry you in and out of bed everyday and every night. I'll walk with you in the park. I'm sure Courfeyrac or R would be thrilled to push you down the aisle. Éponine, I'd do anything for you. Please say yes."

Any tears that she had been holding back came out as she nodded. "Yes. I will marry you Enjolras."

He kissed her and wiped away tears as she wiped away his. She might've been wheelchair bound for the rest of her life, but she was still the same girl he fell in love with.

There was a knock at the door and when they looked up, it was the boy who had slightly caused this.

Marius.

He looked mad and defeated. He pointed at Éponine and shouted until it hurt him. "You shouldn't be alive!" Enjolras stood and left his fiancé's bedside to push Marius out of the room.

"What the hell are you talking about Marius?" Enjolras was pissed beyond belief but tried to remain calm for the sake of his sanity.

"She shouldn't be alive! That's not fair!"

"And why isn't it fair?"

"Cosette is dead. She died in that accident!"

"I'm missing out on the unfair part."

"Why did Éponine survive huh? How is that fair? I lost the love of my life and yours is still alive and well sitting in a hospital bed!"

Enjolras grabbed the collar of Marius' shirt and pressed him up against a wall. "Don't you dare say she's fine. She's torn up with scratches and bruises. Éponine won't be able to walk again because of your wife. Cosette was texting and driving. She ran a red light and was t-boned on both sides of the car. If this was at all fair Éponine would be walking out of here with minor cuts. But instead she's condemned to a wheelchair because of your little bitch."

"At least she's still here!"

"Yeah? Well now you know what it feels like to have something you love torn from your fingertips. Because that's what I've been dealing with since Éponine confessed her love for you again." He let go of the freckled boy and stalked back into her room for the night. He fell asleep in the chair beside her until morning.

The Amis came to surprise them both the next day. They left shortly after Enjolras had gone to see Éponine so they could plan a surprise for both of them.

That morning Enjolras woke up first. His fiancé was sleeping soundly and angelically. She had this neutral expression on her face that made him completely forget what happened to her. It angered in him inside when he was reminded.

Her old scars disappeared only to be replaced by new and permanent ones.

Shortly after he woke, the Amis knocked on the door. "Is she awake?" He could hear Grantaire ask.

"Yes I am." Éponine softly whispered, they couldn't hear her but he could. It was to tell him that it was okay that the Amis could come in.

"Yes. Come in." He didn't get the door, he refused to let go of her hand.

He was surprised when he saw all his friends rolling themselves in with wheelchairs and presents. They made a semi circle around her and Enjolras preparing to sing.

"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason..." They start. She pulled her unoccupied hand to cover her sobs because she really got a taste how lovely her friends were. They sang her favorite song from her favorite musical from broadway. She was sobbing and Enjolras had a few tears slip. The Amis were really too good of friends.

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good." They stopped and smiled. Each Amis took time to give her their present. She got an intricately made fan from Feuilly to help when it gets hot and the AC wasn't enough. Lesgle gave her Lucky Charms sweats to remain comfortable and lucky. Bahorel gave her some pepper spray and promised to teach her some more self defense. Combeferre gave her some movies including her favorites, The Breakfast Club and Remember the Titans. She received hand sanitizers and different smelling soaps from Joly along with a book of how to remain completely healthy and sanitary. Grantaire had surprise them all when he gave her a giant teddy bear that had gone unnoticed until now.

"You said you never had stuffed animals."

She cried and murmured a thank you.

Courfeyrac was the last one by demand and ordered her to open his box. She gasped when she took a look inside. Éponine pulled out a fluffy white kitten with a little red bow on its collar.

"He's so cute!"

"Way to show us up Courfeyrac," someone murmured.

"You got her a cat?" Enjolras asked.

"A kitten Enjy! She seems happy with it. It's comfort her when she's home. Ep, what're you going to name him?"

"Fiyero."

The kitten meowed after hearing its name.

They all talked the the rest of the day away, you could hear the laughter from the other floors.

Around lunchtime the hospital was busy as usual. Patients were coming in and out but Éponine's room was by far the cheeriest. Nurses and doctors were amazed by how happy they all were after hearing such news in less than twenty-four hours. They thought they figured it out when they heard a loud man's voice shoot.

"You're engaged?"


End file.
